I've been involved in a lot of drama the past week especially. Tons of Fringe plays, Remi's going out for an audition tonight for a part in a play, but that kind of drama is fine. There's the other kind of drama that has been going on that makes things all intense and weird. Without going into the gory details just know it involves an ex, a reconnection, the truth coming out about what "really happened" way back a few months ago, contact with "the other woman," and not in that order. Then there are all of the accompanying feelings, of course.
The good news is it doesn't feel as bad as it did when the initial hurt happened, the bad news is that it does hurt all over again. No tears, just a big punch in the stomach kind of feeling.
We all love in different ways. Some of us try to love each other by sharing information, others try to love each other by withholding information we're afraid will hurt. We talk about this in yoga all the time. When do you tell the truth? What if that truth will hurt someone? What if not telling that truth will hurt someone? And then it's all context. If you're someone like me, not hearing the truth is way worse than hearing the truth even if those contents are distasteful. Other people would rather be spared the details and will feel loved by being sheltered from some information. It all depends. There's no right way to do it.
I go back to Anthony DeMello and am reminded that reality is manageable. We can all handle reality. It's here. It just is. And again, I have to go back to the reality that what's so is that that I've been lied to some more, again, lots, whatever, and even though I'd prefer to just hear the straight scoop, the other person won't dish unless forced. So, my reality, which is manageable, is that I've been had. Used. And it makes me feel like a total idiot. Okay, so I'm not being not very powerful. Hey, what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger!
For a great, short talk on getting stronger, surviving, thriving, and actually achieving the impossible, listen to Ray Zahab. Thanks, Tamsin, for mentioning to me his video was on TED.