Must...Meditate

But I got home late, I answered a lot of email and I still need and I mean I NEED to meditate before bed. I am not giving up the meditation this time. I gave it up before and this time I'm not. It's not like I gave up "meditation" or anything but I did give up the Presence Process and this time that's not going to happen. So I'll finish this and then sit for 15 minutes before bed.

If you wait until you NEED to breathe or relax or destress or whatever, there's a good chance you've waited until it's just about too late. It's good to practice these calming tools before you need them. It's also good to use them under stress and then you'll know you've got them ready.

I was chatting with a buddy yesterday about how if we avoid stressful situations in general then when they show up sometimes we're not ready because we're not current with our tools. That doesn't mean we should live stressful lives, but a certain amount can keep us on our toes. And definitely when things come up (life - challenges, losses, etc.) then we should haul out the tools (breathing, thinking certain thoughts, yoga, meditation, and all of that) as soon as possible. But sometimes that's too little too late.

So I'm reminded to just keep going on with this stuff so that when more life comes, I'm ready. After this big break up a few months ago I was concerned about how vulnerable I felt and there were a couple of days that I worried that if one more thing were to happen to me I wasn't sure how I'd be able to cope and go to work. As a yoga teacher I don't have disability insurance or sick leave or anything like that. I'd always thought that if I broke my leg I'd just teach anyway - but I hadn't ever felt so close to having such a strong emotional breakdown before and of course it was years in the making - it wasn't just the incidents that precipitated it - but it got me to thinking that I'd better keep up my mental health because without that, there's no teaching yoga or anything! Maybe I could string beads together or something, but not lead a group.

I trained myself a long time ago to set my watch to go off every 15 minutes and then I could take a breath, look around, notice where I am - oh I'm in a meeting - oh, here I am in a car - look at me on a walk - whatever. And that helped to develop the witness consciousness, the one who can see but remain detached. I've got to remind myself to keep wearing my watch and keep breathing so I can enjoy the good times and be fortified for the bad times. (Let me know if you need help setting your watch. I can get that timer going off every 15 minutes or half hour for you!)