Saturday, April 18, 2009
Okay, I know I'm human, but sometimes I think I can use super-powers to magically be somewhere I'm not. I tried today, for instance, to have a normal outing with John. I know. I know! Dumb idea. Dumb on his part, dumb on my part. It was stupid.
It did not work out. It did end in tears. I was so thinking it was not going to end in tears that I even wore mascara thinking it was not going to have teary portions. I was wrong. (I realize that was a lie just now because I did pack two kleenexes in my purse before leaving the house. I think I knew I would cry and I wore mascara for dramatic effect, how's that? I didn't realize that until just now. What a drama queen! Hmm.)
Anyways, there you go. You play with fire, you're going to get burned. Message? Don't play with fire if you don't want to get burned. I was testing myself. Testing my "presence" testing to see if I could do it. I couldn't. I didn't. Whatever. I just want to be loved, folks. And looking under a can of soup for love is not going to get you much love. Looking at an old relationship for love is like looking under a can of soup. It's not there. And I know! The message is that it's not out there anyway. It's in HERE. But I'm human. And humans look to others for love. I think there's another song coming on..."looking for love in all the wrong places..." It's a country tune. That's who I am right now! A country & western song!