Monday, April 27, 2009
I Said I Would (and I Did)
I have to be careful what I tell my daughter I'm going to do because she holds me to my word. And after I really "got" how if I don't do what I say I'm going to do it not only lowers my self-esteem, it lowers HERS, I know that if I say it, I must do it. Or I have to retract what I've said in a responsible way.
A couple of weeks ago I got it in my head that it would be fun to play the viola again. I played in school for years (see above picture) and dropped it as a teenager. My daughter has been playing the violin now for years and I haven't really played along. A long while back I bought a purple violin on eBay for not much and had it fixed up for not much more and it sort of plays. But it's a violin and I played the viola. So I told Remi that I'd get a viola within two weeks. And I did!
I got a viola the other day. Cool thing about most stringed instrument places is that you can sign out the instrument for a little while because they know you're going to need to test it out and have your teacher make sure it fits you. I think this one might be a little small, so I'll take it to our teacher this week but the guy at the store already ordered a bigger one that I can pick up next week.
Learning to read music again has been interesting and it's a fun new challenge. And it's bringing back lots of memories! I'm remembering myself as a young person and I'm having flashbacks of being seventeen. I remember that awkward stage and the disconnection I felt. I'm sorry I gave up playing - it was a way I had to express myself that nothing else replaced when I let it go. I keep hoping that for my daughter, she finds a way to connect with herself through playing music so when times get tough as a teenager that she'll have something to ground her.
(See if you can spot me in the picture. I'm in Grade 8 here.)