Thursday, February 12, 2009
Instructions from Friends
First of all let me say I've had some fun learning about the Enneagram. Check it out if you haven't yet. I think I'm a 7 but I haven't done the full test - just the cheapo quick test. I think it'll be neat to work with that. Second of all, let me say I love getting support from friends. This is good. I look forward to reading Holly's Great Break-Up Movie recommendations and then the idea of getting a crush on a movie star and watching all of their movies is something I'm gearing up for too. So thanks, Holly, send me that email soon.
As for email, here's one I got a few days ago that has helped me keep going (it didn't stop me from doing the habitual patterns I have running, but it did help me be aware that I was running them and that this will all be over soon). Here we go...
Okay Jamine, let me see if I can put my latest pep-talk succinctly here for you.
The main thing I think you need to visualize for yourself, in your search for a partner, is your EQUAL. You are a vibrant, smart, funny, loving, spiritual, sexy goddess who is ready, willing and able for a real partnership - physical, emotional, practical, spiritual, sexual.
Don't ignore your wisdom and instincts when you see red flags, thank all the work that you've done, all the relationships that you've been in, that allow you to know what does and doesn't, will and won't work for you. Run the other direction when you see addictions, unresolved relationships, narcissism. Look for someone (who you are damn attracted to physically, intellectually, emotionally, etc.) who is truly available for a full partnership with you and who can fully embrace Remi. Someone, who like you, has their shit together, can stand on their own two feet, knows themselves and what they're looking for. Someone you can TRUST and feel profoundly secure with. Only time will reveal this person to you but you must remember that your inner voice knows well when that person is NOT standing in front of you. Don't spend your time with that person when what you want is someone else - someone who does exist and who is also out there looking for you.
Talk soon, Love, Nina
I think I cried after I got that email. Probably. I've been crying after receiving lots of email and that would be a good one to cry about. In a good way. Feel free to replace my name with yours and print it out if it's helpful. I find it really inspiring. She's smart and has lots of experience at this - she's not making it up.
And Peter called from Rhode Island and happened to mention that I shouldn't let John get in the way of me finding other people, because there are loads of men who will want to be with me. I'm getting it. I remember from just over two years ago how this all went. I'm remembering my power and freedom...
That hasn't stopped me from wishing he'd change his mind and spare me the searching all over again. Let me love him and love me back and all of that. But I can tell he's scared and stubborn and whatever. I guess our timing is off and I'm meant for something else. And this was better than last time. And it will keep getting better. I do believe that.