Friday, January 25, 2008
My grandpa guru used to say that you could measure your progress in yoga by looking at your relationships. I think that's so true. When we lived at the ashram and thought we were all enlightened and whatnot, someone would remind you that all you had to do was go home for the weekend to get a taste of where you really were along the path.
I figure I'm practising yoga on many levels. When I practise yoga, that's practise, doing meditation is practise, my going to Landmark Education courses is yoga practice. And I think the quality of my relationships has improved over time. That doesn't mean I don't get triggered by anyone anymore or that I don't get impatient or even still dislike people. It just means it's easier for me to be in relationships I suppose. Or the depth I'm able to have in some relationships has increased. I don't know. It's so subjective. It's just in relation to how I was before, not in comparison to anyone else or their relationships.
I think I really forgave my father for all of his being the way he is by my 40th birthday because when the day came and I knew I wanted to talk to him on my birthday, I simply called him. I didn't wait for him to call or not call. I just called him and we talked and I know he loves me and the fact that he doesn't remember holidays or birthdays is just how he is. So my dad didn't need to be different. I shifted how I saw him and let go of judging him and then he can be how he is and that's really fine with me. That's something I definitely got by doing the Landmark Forum.
And then I let go of some big stuff last year and found that I'm able to really be with people now. So I've got John in my life, and I'm so happy and grateful to have found him and to be able to appreciate him and be with him. I wasn't able to do that before for whatever reason. I have the loving partnership that I always dreamed about. I am in a magical love story that I saw in the movies and it's also just very plain and real and basic. My coach Joyce, told me that when you're in an "enlightened" relationship for lack of a better word at the moment, things begin to get very ordinary. And that is so beautiful and wonderful.
So that's where I'm at. I may not sit in meditation in full lotus, but really I don't care about that. I'm in an awesome communion with someone and even though you may not be able to see it on the outside, I can totally feel it on the inside. So it's been my yoga practice on many levels, especially the work on being in relationships I've done, that has made a difference. Keep up your practice, and look around in your life for your results! They're there...