My life is YTT a the moment. It's all yoga teacher training, all the time. Which is as it should be, really.
I'm totally thrilled to be focused on making yoga teachers! There have been a few diversions, including this evening's wander through the market to see George Clinton. That was cool. Along the way I ran into a bunch of people I know, which is also cool.
I'm afraid now of running into someone who used to live with me who I'm now no longer speaking to, and that freaks me out. I don't like being afraid to go out, but at the moment, I am. But it doesn't stop me. I go out anyway. The whole fear thing is interesting and I'm taking a closer look at it but for the moment, the truth is, I'm not out much and so I don't have to worry that often, so it's not a big deal.
We've been talking about Truth in class lately and it's a great conversation. I'm a lover of the truth, but sometimes there's an impact, as we all know and is why we don't always say what's so. Sometimes being human sucks. We do shitty things. We don't want to admit we do shitty things. We don't want to admit we put up with other people doing shitty things. And then we realize we all do it, it's what's there, and we relax. Or not.
I'm in a limbo place. I haven't landed. I may never land. It's okay. I'm all Buddhist now, so things are just fine. They crumble and get built up again. Ha. I know that it's a case of "careful what you ask for, because you'll get it," and I know that the truth is like that as are so many other things. I wanted to be aware and now I am and there's an impact of being aware. Aware of the little movements of thought and of body. I see a lot more. Oh God if I could just go back and be ignorant again, I totally would. Innocence is truly bliss. Alas, there's no going back. But there's bliss in knowing, too. I know that. I'm not SOL.