Creating Possibility

One of the possibilities I created for myself this weekend (which I can change at any time) is the possibility of being complete. (If you haven't done the Landmark Forum, forgive me, it may make sense anyhow.) I was choosing a possibility that would call me into action. This one sure did.

I called my sister to chat. First of all I was surprised that she answered because I wasn't expecting her to be around, so I was caught off guard, and then she said, "so do you want to share a possibility with me or something?" Well, because I'd just invented a new possibility of being complete, the first thing that showed up was where I was incomplete with her. So I told her about what was up, she chatted with me about it and was great actually, and that was that. Our conversation went on about other things. That was nice.

So what has come up for me though in general is where I'm not feeling complete. And feeling incomplete for me is not a pleasant feeling. I could change my possibility, but this one's working. I see there's a big pile of stuff in front of me and by completing it bit by bit, it will be done. But while I'm getting through it, it stinks. I'm sitting with being incomplete (and it's not like IM in complete or not whole, it's that there's things I need to say and resolve and sort out in general with people and myself) and it's, well, uncomfortable. And I can go to bed at night and be complete with being incomplete and it works, but because of the possibility I invented, I wake up and being complete is there. So when I look at projects or talk to people, what I see is what's in my way, which is great. I can then choose to move it or walk around it, as I have chosen for sure, or blast it away or throw it behind me or whatever.

It's like the obstacles on the path of yoga that Pantanjali talks about but these ones for me show up in relationships with other people. I know when I'm not saying what I want to say and sometimes that's okay. I'm just aware that I'm left feeling not self-expressed and for me, that stands out, because I prefer to feel self-expressed.