I Changed My Mind

I changed my mind. I prefer to think of it as "I participated in my culture," and that includes returning things if I change my mind.

After I got home and the reality of what I'd done sank in, I realized that that deal wasn't going to work for me. As I was talking to the guy in the first place I said, "what if I change my mind?" He replied, "we cancel the deal." And that was that. It was more than that, if you really want to know.

It's not the first time I've changed my mind. I could get into how many choices I've made knowing that I would think a little harder if I knew I couldn't undo my choice. Given the choice to choose and then unchoose or choose again, leaves me with a lot of freedom to do so, so I do. I try things out. But in the case of this car, I didn't even take it for a test drive.

I went in to get my car appraised and find out what my options were. And I know that one of my options is to get a brand new car whenever I feel like it. And I know that there are many smiling men sitting in lonely showrooms who will be happy to help me when the mood strikes me again.

It was especially after my short ride with Rob after yoga last night that I realized I really had been hasty. So I texted Dave when I got home asking him to call me today. I called him later in the morning after he didn't call and told him I hadn't taken the time to fall in love with the car, which is true, and that he had done it all right and it was me that had rushed myself, which is also true. He said the business manager at the dealer needed to be called and I asked if he wouldn't mind doing that and he was fine with it and I called the insurance people and that was that.

I feel a bit embarrassed but also relieved. I think I just wanted a little more drama in my life for a minute.