Well, I've lost the blogging spirit for a number of reasons but I don't want to give up. I'm still teaching yoga. Every day just about.
Last week while I was writing my blog it turns out I was supposed to be someplace else. I was supposed to be teaching a class at the Police College for the RCMP but I had plain forgotten. I got lucky and they rescheduled me for today, which is kind.
I just forgot. I had it scheduled correctly but I wasn't paying attention to my schedule. I'm in resistance to my schedule to be honest. I want a vacation so badly and I haven't scheduled that in, so instead, I don't look at where I am, which is scheduled to teach lots of yoga.
So now I have that queasy feeling of wondering if I'm supposed to be someplace else. Every day this week I've had that uneasy, "oh! Am I where I'm supposed to be?" and then, "ah, yes. I'm where I'm supposed to be."
At the time that they called to ask where I was I didn't have a big reaction. I knew there wasn't anything I could do about it and I emailed my main contact and apologized and offered to teach later on. He called me back and he said he just went to Plan B and it was fine. And it was. But the reaction I had came later, and sort of just sunk in slowly. To the point that I shut down a bit more and continued to avoid things. Like invoicing people who haven't paid, for setting up future workshops, for fulfilling requests for products.
What I did do is schedule myself to teach at Omega this summer for two weeks. I'll teach yoga for two weeks for free basically. Hmm. But it will be fun and will almost be like a vacation. So if you want to come to Omega this summer, come while I'm there, which will be July 29 until August 12.
There's some shame in what happened for me. My grandpa-guru would call it "healthy shame," or hrim, I think. It's okay to feel bad about not fulfilling my responsibilities. But I don't need to let it go on and on. So I won't.
So now I go and teach to the Senior Police Administrators. I'll lead them in a class they won't forget!