Living Yoga - yogic principles in your real life

Tomorrow we begin another session of Living Yoga 1. In this course we look at the yogic principles found in the yamas and niyamas in the 8-fold path. They're found other places too, but the ones we'll be examining are the same ones that Patanjali refers to in the Yoga Sutras.

Since leading this workshop, I've attended some workshops on other topics, and I have to say, this is a good workshop. Not that the other ones weren't good, they just weren't as good as this one is going to be.

What I like about this course (and some of the others I lead at Makata Living Yoga School), is that it relates directly to the participants and their lives and offers us some insight into our own personal lives. Typically when people take a look at their lives, things get BETTER. It's often through unconscious habits and reactions that things get worse or we feel stuck. Shining the light on various aspects of our lives unglues us from patterns and allows us more freedom in how we want to behave - with other people and even with just ourselves.

On top of learning about ourselves, we get to learn about actual other people. Not people on TV or through their blogs or up on a stage, people IRL that we can talk to and share with and laugh with. That's special in this day and age.

So this is a good course. I recommend it highly. Starts Tuesday night near Carleton University. To register, just get in touch with me, your can look in the right hand side on this link for the PayPal button.

Living Yoga 1: Yogic Principles in Everyday Life
$240+ tax
Tuesday, November 5 - Tuesday, December 10
7 - 9 pm

This course is a module in the Makata Living Yoga Program. For more information go to www.makatayoga.com.

Hoarding Workshop - Now that's Some Real "Living Yoga"

So this is maybe a longer story than just a blogpost but here's where I'm at. I'm in the middle of an 8-week "De-Cluttering Workshop" as the "guest" of someone who has identified themselves as someone who perhaps lives in what some people might call a "hoarded environment."

(My boyfriend is a hoarder. Or has been, up until recently.)

Okay, I have to fill you in a bit more so here goes. When I met Steve two and a half years ago we connected instantly and can remember the moment we first saw each other. We spent lots of time together and he started coming over to my place and hanging out. My sister said what's his place like and I said I didn't know I hadn't ever been inside and she threw out the phrase that hadn't even crossed my mind, "maybe he's a hoarder."

"Hey Steve, I was talking to my sister and she said maybe the reason I haven't ever been over to your place is because your a hoarder, ha ha ha." Silence. And to this day he recalls how he knew me well enough by then to know that a deal breaker would be lying, so he said something like, "yea, well, that's maybe one way to describe it, she has a point, heh, heh."

So we broke up. And obviously things happened to bring us closer together and there's more to the story...

Without going into the gory details, we have had a great relationship but how we did it was we had most of our relationship at my house and he kept his place mainly to himself until he was ready to do something about it.

That time came two months ago. Steve gave notice to his landlord and said he wanted to move out at the end of May. The pressure was on. I asked him if he was sure, could he do this, did he need to rent some space because he could see those things he'd been saving were not going to have room at my little place.

We had already established that it was probably better for our relationship for me to not be the one to help him sort through his stuff. Over the past couple of years when I went over there it was not good. Recently, he had an amazing friend help him do the daunting task of actually going through the stuff a bit at a time over eight weeks and making progress rather than tossing everything out, which we learned would be dangerous. I found I could be supportive from home and not have to go in and get upset by the space, because it was upsetting to me almost every time I went over.

In the meantime, I saw an ad for a Hoarding Support Group in the paper. I let Elaine Birchall know that Steve had already given notice so we were maybe a bit further along but she said it would still be helpful and we signed up. The Hoarding Support Group consists of a dozen or so people who have identified themselves as having a clutter problem and if they have someone who can be of help to them, those people are there too, for no extra charge.

We started a month ago and every week I want to jump up and down and say "do you guys know you're doing yoga?!?" To take a look at our lives and to take steps to create alignment that will allow the flow of energy and bring people into our space - there's yoga there. Taking a look at our objects and our attachment to them - that's yoga. Seeing how the false sense of comfort we get from our belongings that will deteriorate over time is holding us back in living our lives fully - that's yoga!

Sometimes I meet people who ask me if my boyfriend does yoga. He doesn't do yoga postures so much, but is he a yogi? Has he walked the path of looking at his life and bringing himself into greater alignment? Absolutely.

May 31st has come and gone and Steve's place is empty. Value Village has loads more things to sell and there's a lovely apartment for rent along the canal in Ottawa. A quiet miracle has happened to a special man in my life and I'm thrilled for him and inspired by the massive change that has come about through his transformation (he read Anthony De Mello's The Way to Love daily throughout all of this).

I love it when people take a look at their lives and see what's there. Every time, something good comes from it. I've never seen people take a look at their lives and have bad things happen from it. So whether it's Landmark Education workshops or Makata Living Yoga programs or Hoarding Support groups, I find yoga in wonderful, messy, human places and it lifts me up, inspiring me to keep looking at my life and shed light on the dusty, dark places in my own world.

(The images are from a sheet Elaine passed around at one of our last workshop sessions. It was used to rate your spaces. She has lots of tools!)

The App Store; Clean Sheets

I heard today that my app has been submitted to the App Store and is basically ready for sale. Whoohoo! As soon as I'm sure it's final I will blast you with the news and you can go and get your own copy of Jamine's Yoga for your iPod Touch or iPhone.

The thing that has me most excited at this moment though is that my sheets are in the dryer. And that means tonight I'll have clean sheets on my bed. And that, to me, is one of the best feelings in the world - climbing into bed after a bath or a shower that has clean sheets on it. Don't get me wrong - I don't normally have dirty sheets on the bed. It's just that there's something special about that not-slept-in-yet fresh bed feeling. It's the little things sometimes that make me happy.

I'm such a kid sometimes and my priorities are out of whack. Yea, I've got my own yoga app in the app store in a few minutes but tonight I get to slip into fresh sheets - that's exciting :)

And I realize that I'm nervous about it. Clean sheets are easy, but my app in the App Store? I can hardly relate. Open to discussion and critiques and comments and payments? Oh right, people can buy it? Right. That is exciting! So when the app's out, you can get a copy if you've got an iPod Touch or an iPhone.

Sensations for your Ears

If you know me much, you know I don't really care for hockey. I'll watch it if I have to and I love going to live games just to be with 20,000 people, but really I'm not that into the game. But I just listened to this video, which is commentators announcing the winning goal from this past Olympic hockey game in different languages, and it gave me goose bumps. I could totally feel their excitement and enthusiasm even though I didn't watch the game, I didn't see it on tv and this video doesn't even have pictures. Anyway, this occurred for me like a cleansing sound, something to get me resonating with awe and joy. I hope you enjoy it too!

As a little addendum here, I emailed the guy who did the video right after I posted my blog, I figured that would be the right thing to do and he got straight back to me. Here's what he said:

Re: Thanks for making that video!

Thanks Jamine!

Reading your blog post I feel even more proud of my efforts under a new light and I certainly appreciate you taking the time to let me know. There is a lot of joy and positive excitement being exuded across the globe with the call and this world can certainly use as much as that as it can get.

Would you believe the BBC Broadcaster actually contacted me and thanked me as well? He was proud to be a part of the moment and the compilation and explained how it brought back memories for him to be a special part of the moment. Isn't that so cool?

Thanks again for taking the time to drop a note, it means quite a bit.

Cheers!
James

When Sadness Comes to Town

Earlier today I had what felt like a sad attack. I just started feeling sad and it didn't let up until after I'd cried a bunch and called a friend who could relate and coach me to get out of the house and go for a walk and remember it's like the weather, it will pass. I've got no reason to be sad and I've got loads of reasons to be sad. My grandmother fell down and broke her hip, never good but especially not when you're 92. I read that people are still denying global warming because all the snow that fell on Washington DC makes it seem like it's getting colder rather than warmer. I could go on and work myself into sadness again.

And then of course I have no good reason to be sad - I'm healthy - in fact, I'm so healthy I didn't even catch a single cold this entire winter. I have all of my family around. Both of my parents are still alive. I have a beautiful, heathy daughter. I don't live in a place that's suffering a natural disaster (except for long winters in Ottawa, but we anticipate it annually), and I could go on and on and count my blessings some more.

But just like the weather isn't personal, inner states aren't personal either. They matter and feel a lot more, but they don't mean anything about who I am or what I'm about. They get tricky because as thought processes, I make the mistake that it's all true and I should believe them and I forget that it's weather and will pass. Plus, in order to have a good cry, you sort of have to take it all quite seriously, otherwise the cry stops and turns into a laugh or a meh.

And it turns out this getting out of the house thing is good for me. I like going to Bridgehead and invariably I run into many people I know when I'm here. So even though it costs me a few bucks extra, it's worth it.

Pemaaaah

I spent the weekend in the presence of Pema Chodron and it was a really special time. Pema Chodron is an American Buddhist nun, who spends a lot of time in Canada, I've written about a lot this year since I read her book, When Things Fall Apart. She was so real and accessible and the teachings were so practical and down to earth, just like they are in her writings.

I learned a new meditation technique that I hadn't tried before and this one includes having the eyes open. I had the experience during the weekend of it being really easy and effective. I tried it this morning and it was harder! It was hard to do it on my own, to get that same clarity and I was reminded that company is stronger than will power sometimes. It was doable, but yesterday, when she or her assistant, Carolyn Rose Gimian, led the meditation practice it occurred as super-simple. Remembering that it had been simple was useful and encouraged me to stick with the practice this morning even though it wasn't simple at all today.

Smile at Fear is the name of the new book of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche teachings compiled by Carolyn. It is also the theme of the talks Pema gave all weekend. Pema said they considered calling the book "Conquering Fear," or other things, but that "Smiling at Fear," seemed to just get it right. It worked for me!

Prayer Project

I've begun something I'll call my "Prayer Project." If you knew me as Sunali, you may remember some years ago I did a "Puja Project." This is going to be similar but without ghee and flower petals and stuff. Maybe I'll reintroduce that but for now here's the deal.

At 6 am I'm praying if that's what you'd call it, I'm asking the universe, I'm making a wish, I'm directing good thoughts, I'm thinking or praying for lack of a better word, for whoever wants it. The thing I've chosen to do though is only do it for people who want it. And if you want it, tell me what it is that you want me to "intend" for you. I'm sure it probably "works" on people who don't want it, but I'm more into helping people who want help at this point rather than helping people who don't want help. For now.

It's an extension of the Metta Meditation I've done, which can be done on people you don't know - I've grown quite close to one of the cashiers at the Metro but I don't know that he knows that. So I don't want it to be weird, I want to see if it would be helpful. And really the person I expect it to be helpful for is me. So far in my Prayer Project, when I've been praying for someone else, it makes me feel really good. So in that respect, if I prayed for anyone whether they wanted it or not, it shouldn't make a difference. But it has made a difference and a bond gets created and there's a tenderness present that I'm enjoying being with. What I've been doing so far includes someone else intending, praying, whatever, for me at the same time, but I get the feeling that the back and forth isn't necessary, although it's very sweet. So I'm not asking you to pray for me but if you want to, tell me you're doing it and I'll know that at the time.

I realize this may be an "out there" kind of thing to let you know about, but it's what I'm up to right now and I'll see how it goes. You can contact me through here or the other many ways to reach me. I'm not psychic though, or as I mentioned earlier, I can't tell, so don't try and ESP me. Use email or Twitter or call me.

To Hull and Back

It's finally feeling like spring and I was able to comfortably walk to Hull, over the bridge to Quebec, without feeling like I was on some sort of Survivor show. Looking down at the water of the Ottawa River, I could see the signs that it was recently winter, all of the ice and snow still in the river.

I'm so glad the ice is melting. I'm melting too. I'm softening. Softening back into being myself. To being with my daughter, just us again. But I miss being important to someone else. I miss getting messages during the day wondering how I'm doing. Nina says I like having a boyfriend in my life, which is so true! It's really simple. Having the right boyfriend is going to make a difference at this level. On the big, big level, it doesn't matter. And on the day-to-day level it does.

So I'm sitting with myself and melting. Seeing what's there. Being sad, being happy, being grateful, noticing what's missing and practising being present. That Presence Process is pretty interesting and I notice that when I do what it recommends, I wonder when I'm going to get around to worrying about the past and the future like I'm used to. Those thoughts come in and wonder when I'm going to think them. And I say, "we won't be getting around to worrying about those things today," and they shrug and go off.

Just like stress accumulates and starts to take its toll, the Presence Process suggests that being present is cumulative and when you practise being present, the present moment awareness starts to build. I think that may be true. I've got a couple of people interested in joining me on this little journey...it's something the author suggests you don't do alone, that having company is useful. And I like having company ;)

Good Morning

It must be a good morning because here I am posting a hello picture and I haven't even had a shower yet. And even though it's minus a hundred outside, someone else got the twonie (see below), I have a weird eye twitch going on, I'm in a really good mood.

A few weeks ago I was in a really bad mood. And I was losing a lot of weight, which my trainer (okay, one of my trainers, sorry Scott) had warned me about. He said, "Jamine, be careful. Make sure you eat. If you don't eat you'll feel depressed." I was still too close to the whole "incident" to really understand what he meant, plus I was looking forward to a little lightening of my load, let's say.

Then it started happening. I was so stressed that I couldn't eat. I'd wake up and feel nauseous and not be able to eat breakfast and then lunchtime would go by and I'd pick at a few things at dinner and do that again between bouts of crying. And then I remembered what Rick had told me some weeks before and I thought, "he's right." So I got some yoghurt drinks and cereal bars one day and fed myself like a baby. And one particular morning I woke up with a huge knot in my stomach and I was thinking I was all sad and scared and "oh no I'm all alooone" and then I realized something. I was hungry. That knot in my stomach was me starving. I had that sensation associated with fear and sadness but I had things a bit mixed up.

I saw Rick a few weeks after he'd told me to keep eating and this time he mentioned that I still had too many cortisols in my system and I should drink whey powder (in addition to eating every 3 hours), that it was supposed to lower your cortisols. I didn't need to do a lot of research, I trusted the man and bought myself a jar of whey powder. Well, let me tell you, that whey powder was magic. I wake up scared, I wake up strange, (sorry, that was a lame BNL reference), and then I go, "whey powder, right, drink the whey shake," and then I'm good. To be honest, I mix it with some greens plus powder too, which alone would make me hyper, but with the whey makes me feel solid. I feel so good after a few weeks of whey powder in fact, that I'm posting a morning happy photo of myself.

I don't attribute my entire turn-about in mood to Rick's advice, but I know it helped. Time has helped, more light has helped, a good attitude, meditation and yoga of course, a great future I'm creating, pink roses on the counter, good friends. And I've turned a corner. There you go.

So Much Going On

I guess I really am a lot better because now when people say "how are you?" I reply, "fine." Or even, "I'm great." Up until recently if anyone asked me how I was, I would say, "miserable." So I'm back to just plain lying by saying "fine," without the need to really update everyone with the being "miserable" part, because I'm not miserable. I'm never going to be "fine" about what happened. I'll move on and grow and stretch and sleep well and everything, but it's never going to be okay with me what went down.

And the truth is, I'm actually feeling pretty good. I like this more-light-during-the-day thing going on. That rocks. I can feel spring in the air and that totally makes me happy. I'm living into a future of longer days and warmer air. That feels really good. Just in itself. I don't need other reasons to be happy. I'm pretty close to being able to find the twonie that was buried in the ice between my car and my steps. One of my neighbours may find it first, but it's so in my normal path that I figure it's probably really mine. Plus I drop stuff all the time (iPod, phone, ugh) in the 10 steps between my door and my car so it's quite typical.

I bought myself a big bunch of pink roses today. I'd been thinking of doing it for awhile, but I always end up deciding it's not a great way to spend my limited funds. Cut flowers, what an extravagance. But I did it. Cut them under water, put them in a nice vase with water and that little packet of stuff you're supposed to mix in, and they're there on the counter. From me, to me. Sweet.

Happiness

On Sunday I read a bit from Anthony de Mello's book, The Way to Love, a book I've mentioned a few times for sure in class, at least once on this blog. He says that we're already happy, we just need to remember it and get rid of the attachment to things and recognize our happiness. Someone after class said it reminded her that there's no "happier" that we're just happy and that there's no striving for it. It's just to scrape off the layers of things that prevent us from noticing our happiness that's already there.

And someone else sent me a page from Tara Brach's book about happiness (that's what the image is). How it's just there. There's nothing to do but notice it. How refreshing. There's not a 10-step process to achieving happiness. It's already ours. It's there.