Transformational Activities

Okay Guys,

Here's a short list of things I recommend when people come asking me what they should do about this or that or just want things to change and be different somehow. And plus, if you're into transformation, you'll just naturally enjoy these things. And if you have more, let me know, because I love spending time doing things that focus on transformation.

And I know, transformation can happen at anytime, anywhere so there's no guarantee, but at least people have tested these and have had results, myself included.

So before you quit your job or end your relationship or spend a whole lot of money doing anything, I would highly recommend you spend three and a half days of your life doing the Landmark Forum. And then I'd recommend you go down the line and do the other courses they have to offer. That is number one.

If, by chance, you have ten whole days in a row to yourself, I would highly recommend you sit in a Vipassana meditation retreat. There's nothing like sitting in silence in your own mental crap that will motivate you to clear some of it out like this retreat will (except maybe the Landmark Forum).

Doing a yoga teacher training where you examine your life and the yoga sutras, would be another thing that would produce results, almost guaranteed. So check for those, but you'll need more like a month off for that type of thing.

In terms of bang for your buck, I'd do the first thing - it's only a weekend. But it's $500. Vipassana is a longer time commitment but not a financial one. Your first course is free, or by donation. Yoga teacher trainings tend to be in the thousands of dollars, so if you've got time and money, that would be fun, plus at the end you get a certificate if you're into collecting things :)

If you want to read something that is transformational, today's recommendation is anything by Anthony de Mello, but especially the book, Awareness. His call to WAKE UP is loud and clear in that book and he doesn't mince words. (This video is what the book says too - I think the book is a transcription of this series.)

Non-Attachment

We're at that point in the yoga teacher training program again. The weekend where we talk about non-attachment and then come up with a practice for it. Some people plan purging rooms and boxes of files. Others plan to stop drinking coffee. Some people just can't seem to come up with an area they think they're attached.

We always recommend doing something that shakes up your routine a bit and totally within moderation. Just notice where you're attached. It doesn't mean you have to be totally unattached. Just notice that you're attached! Like the coffee thing - you could give up coffee altogether or how about just on Mondays? Thursdays? How about don't have it one day a week until noon? Just something to show you where you're tied.

And Caroline Myss mentioned in the tapes I'm listening to again, Energy Anatomy, that when we talk about being honest, we often are willing to point out where our flaws are but not our strengths. And with that, she says we need to be responsible for using our strengths, for knowing what they are and putting them to use. But back to non-attachment, she reminds us to unplug from the things that are draining us and remove importance and significance from old memories and ideas and let them go by calling our spirits back to Now.

Landmark Education says that life is empty and meaningless and it's empty and meaningless that it's empty and meaningless. All of that importance is stuff we put in there. So to practice non-attachment is to become aware of the games we're playing and knowing where we're hooked. Pema Chodron would say we're hooked in places and when we're hooked, there's suffering.

There's always an opportunity to notice where we're attached and see if it's possible to give it up. Sometimes we can't. That's okay. Knowing we're not letting go is closer than not even knowing we're attached. As Anthony deMello puts it, you can't become unattached until you've really experienced attachment. I didn't read the group the passage from the book, Way to Love, that I often do. It's a good reminder that finding yourself totally attached is a great place to be because it's not likely that you'll let go of something if you don't even know you're holding on and it's holding you back.

I Did Not Escape Unscathed

There I was, almost a week ago (ha!), writing as though I was some how going to be able to ride out the wave of Christmas and just observe as the boats all around me were bobbing in the swelling sea of emotions and concerns. I must admit, I was impressed that I had made it to the 23rd of December, no less, without an injury, without symptoms of the stress of the season. That was the calm before the storm, my friends, the calm before the storm...

I was on the right track and it appeared that I had what it takes to make it through the holidays without emotional outbursts and displays of intense feeling. However, this was not the year for me. I have lived to tell the tale and that is the redeeming feature of this little story. But that's where the good part ends.

I will not even go into the details of the nightmare that was my Christmas with family because we've all been there, we've all had those scenes, those ways we've been that we regret, things we've said we wish we could take back, and those promises we've made about how it's not going to go like that again. And I can add on a positive note that all of my relationships are intact and I'm on great terms with my family, where really very little of this drama unfolded. I saved most of the good stuff for my partner and our private little hell we call home. And we're also okay and even good. But it wasn't fun or easy, those few days.

One of the things I got for Christmas was one of Anthony de Mello's books, Awareness. I've been listening to him on youtube all morning. It restores my balance, my understanding, my forgiveness for myself and the others around me. His words give me strength to carry on, oh yes they do.

The main thrust of his message is the same thing the Buddha says, who he says is the one that put it the easiest, but that all of the great teachers said basically this...

"The world is full of sorrow. The root of sorrow is desire. The uprooting of sorrow is desirelessness."

And of course, he goes on. But there's the message. If I'm upset it's because it's not going my way and my way is the thing I'm attached to. Just drop it. Okay, okay.

Happiness

On Sunday I read a bit from Anthony de Mello's book, The Way to Love, a book I've mentioned a few times for sure in class, at least once on this blog. He says that we're already happy, we just need to remember it and get rid of the attachment to things and recognize our happiness. Someone after class said it reminded her that there's no "happier" that we're just happy and that there's no striving for it. It's just to scrape off the layers of things that prevent us from noticing our happiness that's already there.

And someone else sent me a page from Tara Brach's book about happiness (that's what the image is). How it's just there. There's nothing to do but notice it. How refreshing. There's not a 10-step process to achieving happiness. It's already ours. It's there.