Monday, February 1, 2010
The Best Place to Be
I really believe that the best place to be is where you are. And I don't mean in geographical space. Of course it's rotten in Haiti and other parts of the world right now. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about internal realms. If you know where you are, then things line up - you come into alignment - and things flow more freely.
One of the best ways to find out where we are is to look at areas of unconsciousness, or where you're being "inauthentic." Look around your life and find a place where energy is not moving freely, where you're stuck and where you think you shouldn't be. Like I think I should be "further along" in relationships and thinking I should be that way is an "inauthenticity" or is unconscious thinking. I think all sorts of things, I have lots of beliefs about my life and about how it's not going the way that it should. And again, I've got lots of areas that work and where I'm not bothered. But that's not what this post is about.
So when I get present to where I really am, thanks to that area of unconsciousness that allows me to see myself, I can just be there. (In the Landmark Education it would be to be authentic about an inauthenticity.) Maybe have a cry, maybe just look around, but notice that I wish things were different, that I have expectations of things being other than they are, and just that, the noticing of where I am frees me up. And when I look at where I am, in this case in the area of relationships, and I see that I feel like I'm not as skilled as I think I should be, I just see a place where I'm adding suffering that I don't have to. I see that that's how I feel, that I'm holding myself to expectations of things that are not how they are, and poof! the suffering disappears and I feel freed up.
It doesn't usually last. To blast the mountain out of the way I'm going to have to use many sticks of dynamite, but it's a process of chipping away at it. Sometimes the blast is the final one and the thing disappears, the obstacle is removed. But usually it's a gradual hammering away at the thing. And it feels good to blast a bit of unconsciousness away for a bit. Because the thing about being present is it's the same no matter what the circumstances are. So being present in a place where I feel lousy feels just as good as being present in an area where I feel good. Present is present. It's how good times can happen even in the midst of normally lousy external circumstances.
The other thing about being exactly where you are, no matter where that is, is it's very attractive to other people. When you can just simply be where you are, and really own the place you're in without blame or judgement or self-criticism, other people find it nice to be around.There's something so refreshing about being with somebody who just is where they are, especially if it's a place that normally is associated with misery or doubt. When someone is awake in their own discomfort, we trust them, we like them, we want to be in that place too.
So this morning I had some moments of feeling unconscious and small and I was able to see it, see what I was doing to myself and how I didn't need to do that and poof! it passed and I feel my power is restored and I'm back to balance. For now! Balance will need to be restored again, but for this time right now, I am present and good with myself in an area that I tend to judge myself about. What a nice break.