Monday, February 22, 2010
Prayerful = Grateful?
In case you're wondering how the Prayer Project is going, the update is that I'm still doing it. I'm not doing it so much for specific people anymore as the requests faded out and I was reminded of something Caroline Myss said and that's "God's not deaf." So I let those peter out. If you want me to ramp it up again, just let me know!
My prayers have become more like energy awarenesses, if that makes any sense. Just noticing how the energy is in my body, in the imagined body in front of me, and keeping it open with my awareness. Fine. I don't know if it does any good, but it's what I'm doing. And sometimes I notice that I'm praying or wishing that things were different than they are. Like praying for obstacles to be removed. Not a bad prayer, but definitely a request that things be different than they are.
So this morning it got me to thinking, "what if I just prayed for things to be as they are?" And that led to, "that's silly, things are as they are and don't need my prayers," and that moved me over to "how about be grateful for how things are?" That seemed to fit this morning, so I just sat with being grateful for a minute.
Sometime over the weekend I read some quote on Twitter that was a reminder that if you don't like how things are, one of the things you can do is also be grateful for what you don't have that you don't want. Example - cancer. As far as I know, I don't have cancer and I'm sure I don't want it and that can be a blessing I count if were up to counting things.
Gratitude can look like being satisfied with what we have but also with what we don't have. Welcoming things as they are and as they are not. So I'm practising allowing the moment to be just as it is (like it needs my permission - ha!) or maybe it's better for me to say I'm resisting the urge to edit the way things are and I'm playing with just holding what's there. So even praying that I can stay in the moment is a shift away from being with things the way they are.
And one of the ways things are is that I like to mess with stuff. I tend to wish things were different. I like to improve my situation. I'm not satisfied in a number of areas and I'm constantly scheming and strategizing how I can make things go more my way. And that's how it is. That's how I roll. Today. I'm not committed to always being that way!
So today's prayer that turned into gratitude even includes me being a little meddler of my life trying to arrange things to please myself.