A few weeks ago in the yoga teacher training program I revealed that I didn't have plans for New Year's Eve and that I wasn't going to be spending that time with my daughter and I am single and I really didn't know what I was going to be doing. I said it not to get invitations, but to share that not everyone may be having a "happy holiday" and this can be a hard time for people, including yoga teachers and other people who practice yoga!
To those of you who extended invitations to me - thank you! I really appreciate it! Please invite me again!
The number one thing I wanted to do was to go to visit a friend who lives far away but that seemed a bit crazy due to the sheer expense and distance. So I made alternative plans to take myself on a yoga retreat at the Sivananda ashram in Val Morin. The more I settled into that idea the more sorry for myself I felt.
So I revisited the travel option. My inner voice was clear about what to do - just go and bring your camera and shoot some yoga video footage in the warmth and have fun - but my rational voice was thinking about the expense and that's really about it. Everything else seemed to fit, it's just costly.
And now I'm really excited. I was going to be contracted and hunker down and sit tight and now I'm doing something a bit edgy, on the wild side, expansive and "yes" and that feels more like how I want to live.
I used to travel with open-ended tickets. I can't do that anymore given how I want to raise my daughter. I got clear last year that I wanted to travel more and I'd do it and return home. Which means remaining employed, productive, dependable and all of that. But that also means going away when I have time, even if that time is the most expensive time of the year to do it!
I just cancelled my reservation at the ashram. The good news is that my deposit is refunded to me in a credit note, so I don't lose the money. And I would like to go and sit and stretch and be in the quiet. Just not this weekend. (So I won't be there this Sunday like I said I would. Sorry guys.)