Star Wars, nothing but Star Wars, you know those...

So I'm sitting here not really watching the second episode of Star Wars, which is really the 18th episode or something, if you're really paying attention. Okay, it's the 5th. It's a lot of Star Wars.

But the Jedi stuff is kind of cool. And in a yoga way, it's kind of yogic. Yoda. Yoga. Hmm. See what I mean? I haven't actually watched enough of this episode to report about the things that are majorly yogic, but I know there are some. I'll watch more and get back to you.

I had a dream the other night that I was levitating. I dream that a lot and it's kind of palpable. Like I can really feel the feeling of levitating and flying. Apparently I do a lot of jerking around in my sleep when this is happening and I assure you, it's not a bad dream I'm having, rather a really cool fantasy of being able to be "jedi-like." Because when I got off the phone this evening and back into the room where Remi was watching Star Wars, there was this part where Yoda was flying and I was having this body memory of flying and levitating and using the Force!

One thing Obi Wan said to someone was about be careful what you think. It's true. What you think about manifests itself. I learned that a long time ago during a meditation retreat when I "got" that thoughts have matter and that what we think about totally makes a difference and although we may feel all private about our thoughts and stuff, those thoughts make a ripple and can cause things to happen. It's a bit Jedi, I know. Anyways. Remi's asleep now and I will be soon. Given the chance to fall asleep before 11, I'll take it unless something really spectacular is happening.

A Better Blog

I was just reading something that I thought was very creative and fun, and winds up in a way better blog than mine. Really neat.

Here's the link.

It's Remi's last day of school today and I was thinking about how I could celebrate her and I asked some of the CHEO kids what they thought was even more fun than Midway, and I got, Fun Junction. So that's where I'm going to take her today after school.

When I was growing up I don't remember being celebrated for doing tasks I was expected to do, like pass Grade 3, for instance. But I think that really we don't have enough celebrating around here, so let's go for it, and Remi finishing up school for the year is as good excuse as any, and maybe even a better one if you think about it.

So I'm off to teach another yoga class...

Summer's Here and I'm on Hold

I got some new software. It's exciting because it's supposed to be able to help me do my web site and lay out some of my booklets. It's actually a kick-ass design software program suite.

After deciding which computer was going to get the software, I started to load it only to find out that my new computer, which claimed to have a gig of RAM has only 894 MB. So I'm on hold with HP to find out what the deal is.

Things just seem to take time.

And so today, the Summer Solstice, marks a new beginning. It's the longest day of the year, as you know, and that makes me a bit sad because it means the days get shorter from here on in, which means winter is coming again. And I still have some hats and scarves in the closet. I may as well leave them there because Old Man winter is already on his way back!

The guy just came back on and said he's going to put me on hold for 2 - 4 minutes was that okay. Sure. I've been on hold for only 12 so far. It's not light out anymore. It was still light out just a while ago.

This software has known "issues" with Vista, which is what my new computer is running on. So we'll see how this goes.

Noticing if I wish this moment were different and just breathing into things the way they are knowing they're going to change anyways...
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The update is that I need to buy either more RAM or a new video card. Upgrading my month-old computer. Sheesh, time seems to be going by faster these days...winter will be here anyday...

Making the Body Safe

I'm waiting at CHEO for my class to start. I teach yoga to kids in an Eating Disorders Program here at the hospital.

I don't get a lot of feedback from them about what the yoga does for them. My job is to provide them a safe space to explore themselves and leave the talking to the counselors basically. We do talk, don't get me wrong, just usually not about yoga, but about dating and proms and smoking and "stuff."

I do have an intention with them though. And that's to make sensations available to them in a safe way so they're not overwhelmed. People with disordered eating issues sometimes need to just down to their bodies' messages. I'm encouraging them to gently listen to those messages.

The type of yoga I lead with this group is similar to any group I lead, however, it's slower, and there's more emphasis on listening to the body and it's just generally gentler.

They're heeeeere....

Yoga for Little Kids

Remi and I finished up our co-teaching of the little kids at the daycare this week. We've been going in after school on Thursdays and "playing yoga" for most of the school year.

Teaching really little kids is pretty hard for a teacher like me. Even though I'm a mom, I find teaching kids difficult. They move around, they don't listen, they're not always motivated...but it has been a real learning for me. When I teach at Remi's school, all of the kids have to do it and it's usually in gym class and it's a big deal and they know how to sit still and can pay attention a bit better, now that they're like, 8. But the 4 and 5 year olds in an optional setting at the day care centre are quite tricky. They let me know if they're enjoying it and if they're not, they abandon the "class" and walk away. I don't usually take it personally.

If I show up on a Wednesday to meet Remi at the bus, the kids see me and say, "are we doing yoga today?" Just seeing me reminds them of yoga. And even though they don't always pay attention and want to do yoga, they have fond memories of yoga. The teachers tell me they talk about it when I'm not there and they say they like it. So maybe one day when they're ready to do yoga, they'll be open to it and have a good association with it.

Yoga is like laundry...

I remember a long time ago when I was young...I used to think that fitness or yoga was something you could achieve. I didn't really "get" that yoga was something that had to be kept up in order to keep getting the benefits from. I guess after universtity, where there was a lot of achieving, I wasn't used to the idea that you'd have to keep practising. I started yoga while I was in university and then carried on at Kripalu after doing a bit in Asia. I remember Bikram saying that he didn't need to practise yoga anymore because he'd invested so much time doing it. That was a long time ago, so I don't know if he'd be saying the same thing now, but that's what he said 15 years ago.

I heard a joke a while back, "the trouble with vacuuming is every six months you have to do it again." I think about yoga like that. It has to be kept up or we can fall apart. Or like laundry. You have to do it regularly. You don't do your laundry once and then it's all done. It's something that, when kept up, can keep you sane and feeling more comfortable.

Site's Still Down

The hockey game is on so I won't be at this for long...

My site's still down but shouldn't be for much longer. In the meantime, here's the recording for the 3-Part Breath.

And here's the guided relaxation if you would like that...

Capital Yoga Down

It happened. The Capital Yoga site came down. It was acting like it was coming down a couple of weeks ago and then by some fluke it stayed up and it seemed like everything was back to normal. And then it just came down. And now I will rebuild it. Step by step. Learn a new program, find some graphics that work, restore the content, make up some new stuff, and have fun! Because I actually like building websites. I like sitting in front of my computer and I have a couple of computers to choose from too.

This morning it doesn't feel like fun though. I'd rather blog or go for a walk or eat some more breakfast or call my mom. When I come across an obstacle sometimes I wait. If I don't see just how I need to proceed I get distracted and start to avoid the task. But if it's a serious task that must be done I will perservere, "chunk" out the steps and do it. After having a nap and drinking more tea and calling friends with jobs and all sorts of other stalling tactics.

When I was at McGill back in the '80s I had a computer. It was an old Atari that used my TV as a monitor. I even had a modem that used an old phone with a curly cord that jammed into this receiver base to send files back and forth to my parents' place so they could proofread my papers.

At Kripalu in the early '90s I had a computer and email. Anyone remember Genie? I was getting email from my mother and grandmother way back then. The network we used at the 'shram was Macintosh and I was introduced to "hypertext." Cool.

Then at Omega we got the world wide web in color. Whohoo! I actually led workshops for people to learn how to "surf the web." When I left my job I made a manual in html so the new person could just click to find the answers. At one point I remember reflecting how my laptop computer cost more than the car I was driving. I had a desktop computer set up in our trailer and had access to email and movie times in the trailer park.

Once I left the States I even telecommuted from Johannesburg updating Omega's online catalogue. The phone bills were outrageous as you pay for local calls down there. My computer was good but the connections were slow. I was able to email pictures of my new baby at the time to relatives far, far away.

I've always been wired up to the internet it seems. So it's logical that I'd want a web site even if it's not doing much. Capital yoga didn't sell anything. It was just a place for me to post stuff and advertise my classes and workshops. A place to tell my story. Guess I'd better get back to taking care of it...

And it's not accessible. I keep waiting, breathing, hoping it will come back up soon so I can work on it, and it's still down. I click, wait, fire off a message, a plea for help, and I guess I'll wait some more. At this point I'm not even avoiding the task! Alas I wait...

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And while I wait, I found this page and I'm reading it. Seems weird to have the biographies of great women teachers and saints right next to a flashing ad "the fart button - press here - you know you want to." I hope you don't wind up with that ad if you go to the page!