Sometimes I'd like to be done with something. Like health. I'd like to be complete with health and just have it handled. I'd like to achieve fitness. I'd like to collect yoga poses and just keep them. Even a manicure. I'd like to pay for a manicure to be done professionally and just have it be done. Shaving, waxing, enlightenment, same thing. But all of these things require maintenance.
It's as though I'd like to just pause life. Just take a break over here. Have it wrapped up for a bit with no more todos and all my calls returned and bills paid and boxes checked off.
I'd like to earn the educated badge. Just know something and not have to relearn it all again next week. I'd like to know the software rules and have them not change. How about Facebook? Couldn't it just stay the way it was?
Everything's changing and growing and moving and sometimes I feel like I can't keep up. And we can't keep up with all of it, we really can't. This is where surrender lives. We have to make peace with where we are knowing that stuff, life, is flowing all around us. In addition to letting go, we also have to have effort to be focused and participate and know where we want to go, or just have the discipline to go where we've been told to go.
In yoga it's called, Abhyasa and Vairagya. Effort and focus, and on the other hand, non-attachment and letting go. It's a balance.
Sometimes I'd like it to be out of balance and just be done! I know it's not realistic and that I need to bring some tapas to my practice in that moment. I'm just sharing something that shows up in my awareness sometimes...and I have a feeling you know what I'm talking about!
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