Monday, June 30, 2008

She Was Never Bored

I'm prone to editing. I love to proofread, I like formatting documents on the computer, I love making little videos. And as it turns out, I am constantly editing my life. I try and edit the people in my life, making them a little more this way or that way - trying to click on "align center" and see if I can't get them to straighten out and do things properly.

I'm also always editing myself. I should just work out a little more and then the pudge on my thighs would go away. I should clean my desk more often so things will flow better in the office. I should plan meals so my little family knows a week ahead what's for dinner. I'll put more money into Remi's RESP so there's money when she wants to go to school when she's older. It goes on and on, as you are well aware if you've read my blog at all.

And I was thinking yesterday of how that's just part of my personality. I'm an editor. I have an opinion and a sense of what I think is right and I try and get my external world to line up with my inner vision. Nothing wrong with that. It's just sometimes exhausting to live inside of or be around in the case of people close to me. Things are rarely "finished," because there's always a little more that could be adjusted to make things just perfect, so often, there's this incomplete feeling like I'm not done.

If I consider that that editing thing I do just comes with the territory, I can relax about it. My personality has an opinion and has lots of ideas for how things could be done - in my own life as well as everyone else's around me. So sometimes I stop for a bit and it's quiet and that's okay for a little while. And then it's back to work. I'm always working on something. Some improvement project. As a result, I am never, ever bored.

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