Accidentally Off Coffee

I didn't set out to stop drinking coffee, although it was always in my mind that if I didn't drink coffee that would be okay. But I must admit that it surprised me how I stopped and how easy it was.

I wouldn't have described myself as a coffee addict but I drank some coffee off and on everyday for years. I even blogged about it long ago when I first started this blog. I didn't consider it to be a problem and in a way I felt included in coffee culture, which is predominant here in Ottawa, I'd say.

So when all of a sudden coffee didn't do it for me anymore, I was pretty surprised. It just started not tasting good. I tried different beans, even paying the big bucks for organic Kicking Horse beans, using my new Aeropress coffee maker, and still, just yuck.

What was new? What changed my taste buds? I started drinking juice, or as we might say, I started "juicing." I watched a video that came recommended by a friend describing the benefits of adding juice and the micronutrients that go with it and I got interested. I was more of a "blender" rather than a "juicer" because I didn't really believe that it was good to not eat the whole food and just take a concentrated portion of the food, but I hadn't ever really tried it before so I decided to give it a go.

Rather than investing in a brand new juicer, I asked Twitter if anyone had one they could lend me. I was sure that other people had gone through this phase before and had one stashed away someplace unused. Sure enough, I got my hands on a Breville Juice Fountain within a day and I set it up on my counter.

I went to the market stalls and bought bags of carrots and beets and kale and apples and other things I'd heard were good for juicing and I got started. It's a big scary at first to drop things into this fast spinning thing but it didn't take long before I got the hang of it.

I didn't actually do a juice fast or anything, although I'm up for trying, I just ventured to add more micronutrients into my diet, which had become somewhat convenience based and less focused on nutrition. Within two days of adding juice in the morning and at lunchtime, I noticed that coffee started tasting funny.

Stopping coffee was a natural next step. I had a headache for one day that I can attribute to caffeine withdrawal and then nothing. No morning fog, no headaches, no longing for a latte, just me with myself.

Being off coffee seemed like no big deal to me but then I started noticing other things happening like my sleep was getting better. My partner mentioned that my mood seemed a bit better and I didn't even feel like arguing with him about it; perhaps he had a point.

Now that the market has closed for the winter, where am I going to get my greens for juicing? Trucked in from California? No way! Turns out there's a local farm that has a green house and delivers all winter. I still have to get things from Farm Boy and the Metro, but I did pick a fine time to start this juicing thing.

If you want to get inspired like I did, try watching Joe Cross' movie, and then Food Matters. Who knows what surprising things will happen to you!

Please Move Your Bodies, People

You may have already seen this video. If you haven't, please watch it. If you have, then stand up and move around for a little bit and then get back to the computer.

I've started showing it at some of the presentations I give because I find it so compelling. It doesn't take a lot to start having the benefits that short walks can give you. People have all sorts of excuses about why they can't get to a yoga class (me too) or why they have no time for the gym, or why they have put on weight or why they can't be any healthier. This video to me shows that there really is something we can all do that will make things at least a bit better, especially if things aren't feeling that great in our bodies.

I don't sit at a desk all day but I work with a lot of people who do. I see people on their yoga mats, and that hour/hour and a half is great, but really what's important is what we are all doing the rest of the days. It's good to stretch but if you're not walking during the day and moving your juices around, the yoga will only do so much.

Please get out for a walk on your lunch break, or after work. Make an excuse to do this simple thing. Your yoga will feel better too!

On Second Thought

In my recent post I said I didn't think what I was going through was worth having my uterus taken out but I'm starting to have second thoughts about that as I sit in my home feeling trapped for a couple of days while my period passes. I'd like my freedom back, actually.

The doctor's office called the other day with the date for my surgery. At first they tried to give me a date in September, but that was too close to my presentation for the India Canada Friendship Circle. Then a date early in October, but that was the weekend I am taking my daughter down to the States to review the Forum. How about the 18th. Fine. I half-scheduled it. I just said yes to please the system. I was still thinking I'm going to beat this.

Then I started thinking about what life would be like if I wasn't anemic and hemorrhaging every 3 weeks. That started to make me feel good. I go back and forth. I think, "what if this happened on the weekend I was supposed to be leading my workshop? That would be really distracting and uncomfortable." Then I flip to, "I hardly ever lead that workshop, so is it really worth having major surgery to take your uterus out just so you're not inconvenienced?" That turns into, "but maybe I'm not done having kids and I think I'd really like to have another baby, that might even make the fibroid better," which quickly goes to, "oh who are you kidding? You can't afford to have another baby and you wouldn't really want to you at your age."

The doctor I saw told me this, "if you were my sister, I'd recommend you have this surgery." The other women I know who've had the surgery are all grateful and I have yet to meet someone, although I think they're out there, who regrets it. My mom said, "it's common surgery now. They do it all the time. It's not experimental and the risk of something going wrong is small." She's right. They're right. But I don't want to get cut open and have my womb removed. I just don't!

However, the risks of significant blood loss over time are real and likely given how it's going. Even with the herbs, I'm running around trying to manage this situation. I'd be okay if this part were over. I could adopt if I really want more kids. Maybe I'll be a grandmother soon, who knows. (I use the idea that I'm really okay being a grandma and teenage pregnancy wouldn't be that bad as a deterrent for my 12-year old daughter.) I think it's likely that I'd be someone who would respond well to the surgery, who'd recover quickly, and be back to work within days instead of weeks.

The next step is to go and take the shot, which costs $500 that will shrink the tumour so it can be removed more easily. Once I take that shot my body will be sent into menopause temporarily. See, menopause would take care of this tumour naturally. But menopause for me is a good decade away most likely. If I have the surgery my doctor is prescribing, although I'd lose my uterus, I would keep my ovaries and still ovulate and have a cycle, just without the menstruation part.

I said I'd go in and get the shot when I'm back from Omega in a couple of weeks. They said okay. But I'm supposed to be on that stuff for 3 months before having the surgery and Oct 18 isn't 3 months away. So if I can get up the courage to go in and get the shot in a few weeks I'll be on my way and can reschedule the procedure as needed. Big breath.

Saw the Doctor

If you're just joining me, this post is a continuation of the situation that I described here. I'll jump to the end and back up. I'm going to be scheduled for a hysterectomy late summer, early fall, as soon as they have an appointment.

WTF? Seriously? Me? And I'm supposed to take medication to shrink the fibroid tumour for a minimum of 3 months beforehand. The medication costs just over $500 per month. (I don't have that kind of insurance, so please buy all of my apps and get DVDs for your friends!)

I am still in shock and don't really believe it. Surely it's not that serious and can be handled with herbs and other medications and exercises - maybe there's a yoga pose that will shrink the tumour so I can keep my uterus! I'll visualize the fibroid getting smaller. I'll pray better. And I'll keep the appointment for now.

If I'd had insurance, he would have started me on the period-blocking drug right away. I lose too much iron each month and the drug would put me into menopause right away and help shrink the tumour so it'll come out easier during the operation. He said, "you're 44 and are probably done having kids. If you were 42 or younger we'd do another operation, which is more difficult but we'd try to save your uterus." He's probably right but I'm still surprised that I won't have more kids, nurse another baby and all that. I also am not ready to all of a sudden not have another period.

Having a period is what I identify with as part of being a fertile woman. And we're just going to turn it off and move into a new phase of life just like that? I'm confused. I want more information. I don't want to do it.

I've never had an operation. Never stayed in a hospital. My daughter was a home birth for goodness sake, I'm not about to waltz into an operating room and get a general anesthetic. When (and if) I go, I'll be ready and educated and grateful. Right now I'm not.

He said I need to take the period blocker for 3 months so I have enough energy and iron to make it. Continuing to have the kind of periods I have now will weaken me (totally true) and make the surgery unsafe.

I welcome your stories, suggestions, prayers, understanding during this time...I'm scared and sad and realistic. He placed my hand on my abdomen and showed me clearly where it is - I can feel it for sure with my hand on the outside - and I'm too young to not do anything about it. If I were older and closer to menopause it would likely shrink on its own. Big breath. Here we go...

The Power of Water

"The power of water." That's what the woman at the clinic said when I returned to get my blood work done this afternoon. I'll back up.

I haven't blogged in a while. There's a mix of reasons for why I haven't been blogging but one of the things that's going on in the background is I've had low iron, ringing in my ears, and now pain in my joints. The joint pain has been going on for almost the past month. It's not unusual for me to have pain in my joints, but this is noticeably more than in the past. I went to see my doctor and he said it's osteoarthritis and get used to it. My 44th birthday is coming up this week (gasp) and I guess it's just my age and yea, get used to it.

I've been corresponding with a friend who's still at Omega and he reminded me of what he's going through with Lyme's disease and something went off in my head. "Joint pain is a symptom of Lyme's." I've known enough people who've had it to know I'd want to treat it early on if that is something that I had. I don't think I do but I wanted to rule it out.

So I went to see my doctor this morning, he's great - I get in to see him right away, and he fills out the requisition for blood tests and off I go. Since I was there he decided to add other tests for arthritis indicators not just the Lyme's disease so I figure it's a good thing I went.

I arrive at the clinic and I'm happy to see who's working because it's someone I recognize and my experience with her is that the needle's not bad and I'll be okay. I hop up on the chair, roll up my sleeve, and get ready. It won't be bad. I've had her before and she knows what she's doing.

She taps and pokes. I make a fist and release. I do that a couple of times. She sticks the needle in and waits. Then she asks me, "have you had any water to drink today?" Water? I don't actually drink water in the morning except in its more potent, coffee, form. "No I haven't had any water." Well, my blood won't come out. Jamine's blood won't come out.

She said she'd try something else and that got me to thinking, so I asked her, "what if I go away and drink something and eat and come back because honestly, I could totally do this at another time." She knows I want to run away and she's already filled out the paperwork and to cancel this is a chore. "What if I promise to come back?" She agrees. She said it takes TWO HOURS for water you drink to get into your veins. Interesting, eh?

I come home, drink a bunch of water, eat a sandwich and wait. When I went back in I rolled up my sleeve and she decided to go for the other arm. She punched my veins a bit and then she stuck in the needle. The blood flowed out no problem. "The power of water," she said.

Lesson learned - drink water. If I don't drink water my blood isn't flowing as much. So toxins aren't moving out. Healing properties aren't moving in. Things are sluggish. Drink some water!

East, Sleep, Poop, (Yoga)

I know there's some hierarchy about the needs people have but we forget all the time. When dealing with children, especially those too young to "use their words," we look at their behaviour and if it's off, we start asking questions to ourselves. Has this child had enough sleep? Have they had enough to eat? When did they last go to bathroom?

And then we grow up and no one asks that about us anymore and we carry on. (Funnily enough, the words used for the greeting "how are you" in some Asian languages is "have you eaten.") And we carry on until we get stopped. Life breaks down. Things stop working. We get cranky.

It's at that point (earlier would be better) that we could be asking ourselves, have I had a good sleep? Like, am I getting enough sleep in general? Many people do not get enough sleep. As we get older, we so much do not get enough sleep that we take medication to help us get enough sleep. We've had to miss a lot of sleep before we get tranquilizers and then the sleep we get isn't quite as "pure" as before. All medications have side-effects.

We do things that discourage good sleep. Here are just a few things we do that can make sleeping difficult: watching TV late (for some people I know it puts them to sleep); being on the computer up until bed time; eating late; eating certain foods late; drinking alcohol in the evening (it may make you sleepy initially but will wake you up later); going to bed without enough time to get the amount of sleep we need; and you know how the rest.

And then there's eating. Have you eaten? And by that, really I mean, have you nourished yourself? There's lots of foods we can eat that do not nourish our bodies. So have you eaten in a way that serves your body first? If your body's given the best ingredients to do its job, it will function better. We know this, but we don't always do it...

Pooping. Very important to poop... I work with kids in the hospital every week and a big issue for them when they're away from home and with new foods and program, etc., is finding a way to go to the bathroom in peace. If you don't have a good system for pooping or your poops aren't healthy, you'll not be in top form. That's just how it goes.

And then there's yoga and meditation. Most people can probably get by without doing yoga and/or meditation. For a while. Until they start adding it into their lives. Once you've added it into your life, it'll be noticeable when you don't do it. If you're used to flossing and brushing your teeth, you won't like the feeling of dirty teeth even for a day. Same thing with doing yoga and meditation. Once you're used to being comfortable in your body and good with yourself and not thrown so far by your thoughts, you won't want to miss it.

So then the question is - did you sleep? Have you eaten? Did you go to the bathroom? Have you done your practice? And if not, what are you going to do about it?