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Friday, April 1, 2011

Saw the Doctor

If you're just joining me, this post is a continuation of the situation that I described here. I'll jump to the end and back up. I'm going to be scheduled for a hysterectomy late summer, early fall, as soon as they have an appointment.

WTF? Seriously? Me? And I'm supposed to take medication to shrink the fibroid tumour for a minimum of 3 months beforehand. The medication costs just over $500 per month. (I don't have that kind of insurance, so please buy all of my apps and get DVDs for your friends!)

I am still in shock and don't really believe it. Surely it's not that serious and can be handled with herbs and other medications and exercises - maybe there's a yoga pose that will shrink the tumour so I can keep my uterus! I'll visualize the fibroid getting smaller. I'll pray better. And I'll keep the appointment for now.

If I'd had insurance, he would have started me on the period-blocking drug right away. I lose too much iron each month and the drug would put me into menopause right away and help shrink the tumour so it'll come out easier during the operation. He said, "you're 44 and are probably done having kids. If you were 42 or younger we'd do another operation, which is more difficult but we'd try to save your uterus." He's probably right but I'm still surprised that I won't have more kids, nurse another baby and all that. I also am not ready to all of a sudden not have another period.

Having a period is what I identify with as part of being a fertile woman. And we're just going to turn it off and move into a new phase of life just like that? I'm confused. I want more information. I don't want to do it.

I've never had an operation. Never stayed in a hospital. My daughter was a home birth for goodness sake, I'm not about to waltz into an operating room and get a general anesthetic. When (and if) I go, I'll be ready and educated and grateful. Right now I'm not.

He said I need to take the period blocker for 3 months so I have enough energy and iron to make it. Continuing to have the kind of periods I have now will weaken me (totally true) and make the surgery unsafe.

I welcome your stories, suggestions, prayers, understanding during this time...I'm scared and sad and realistic. He placed my hand on my abdomen and showed me clearly where it is - I can feel it for sure with my hand on the outside - and I'm too young to not do anything about it. If I were older and closer to menopause it would likely shrink on its own. Big breath. Here we go...

7 comments:

L said...

I'm usually a lurker Jamine, but I want so say how sorry I am you are going through this. I send you prayers, positive thoughts and a hug too. Laura

Jeff said...

Hi Jamine,
I know what you are going through as I found out I had a 10 cm fibroid last August. I am opting to withhold the surgery until 2012 until which time I am taking bioidentical hormones and keeping up with the ultrasounds. I am hoping to just have the myomectomy instead of the hysterectomy. I am not ready for surgery/possible menopause either. I don't seem to have the never ending periods though but maybe that is coming, who knows? Nicole (Sunday Hatha)

Jeff said...

LOL, my copmuter is registered to husband Jeff. He is not the one with the fibroid :)

sshrout said...

Hey Jamine- wow that is fast and crazy. I don't know anything about this stuff but I am thinking of you. I find it hard when we are left at the mercy of the healthcare system especially with life changing things. Do lots of research. Hang in there. It reminds me of the circle you drew in class last week. You are headed into that large space that is unknown. From what I know of you I am positive you will come out of this in great form with lots of good stories to tell.

Jamine said...

Thanks guys. And Nicole, when I read your comment I was like, wow I didn't know guys could get them too, and then I kept reading :)

Since I posted this, a number of people have come forward with their stories and I really had no idea what good company I'm in with this situation. It helps to know that I'm not alone with this and that people function normally and even better once it's handled.

Last night I got a referral to a naturopath and I'll check that out as well as keep another appointment with a different specialist in May.

roberta said...

Jamine, So sorry you have to deal with this. I am sending positive thoughts your way for a speedy resolution & recovery. I can't say what you should do, but if it were me, I would continue to research and talk to people. Prayer doesn't hurt either. Take care.

yogi said...

Jamine - please definitely check out a naturopath and Natasha, the raw food lady. I've heard of some amazing things happening with diet... I'll bring you some information this weekend.

In the meantime - there is SOOOOO much love and support for you!! Whatever you decide to do you will be okay and healthy and strong.

I will dedicate my practice and my prayers to you. Love, love, love! xxxxxxx