New Haircut

It's raining again here in Ottawa. I don't mind really. I'm still thrilled that it's not snowing.

I got my hair cut today. My bangs were getting in my eyes and it was time to get it cut again. I don't like it when my bangs get in my eyes. I have a little conflict with my hairdresser about this. She thinks my bangs should be long and I don't like it when they're in my face and I threaten to cut them myself, which I've been known to do, so she humours me and cuts them shorter than she believes is right. If I really had it my way, I'd have my hair super-short and just use a number 3 or 4 and take care of things that way.

Today though, everybody was happy. My hairdresser was happy, I was happy, and my daughter was happy that I was doing something new. On my facebook status I reported that, "Jamine Ackert got a new haircut. Or got an old haircut again. Let's put it this way, it's been a long time since I've had my hair cut like THIS." And the funny part is that someone from highschool said, "back to the high school cut, sweet," so I wasn't lying. I did have this old hair cut! I was afraid I had been exaggerating.

It's an asana. Haircutasana. It feels funny. It feels normal though until I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or touch the back of my neck. Then I remember I'm doing a pose. The posture of having a new hair cut. It doesn't last long, and everyone that saw me today knows that as soon as I wash it, this haircut will be different.

I leave early tomorrow morning to go to Montreal for my workday as an Introduction Leader with Landmark Education. A day I dread and look forward to at the same time. And then I'm heading off to be at Omega for Family Week as the core faculty Yoga Teacher for a week. People keep wishing me "Bonne Vacances" and I keep saying that it's not a vacation. It's actually an underpaid week of work! Tonight someone in class wished me a Good Vocation after I'd said my spiel. And he was totally right. Of course this is my vocation, which is why I'm doing it this way! After class he mentioned to me he'd been on a recent trip where he visited some Native American sites in NM and AZ and reflected that their worldview had no distinctions between work and play, religion and seasons, and things all were fluid and holistic. I'm going to look into that some more. I can totally relate to that idea of things just being how they are and not making up a lot of boxes to put them into. I'll check it out and report back.

Barakobamasana

I was thinking it could either Barakasana, or Barak Obamasa, or we could be doing Yogobama, something like that. I walked to my class in Hull today partly because it wasn't minus 80 out and mainly because I figured the streets around me would be closed and I wouldn't make it to class in time. I made it just fine.

We could come up with a new pose or dedicate an old pose - I didn't get real far with the idea and I'm not taking any pictures or anything but if you have any ideas let me know.

I'm still ill, still sick in the heart, and I recall there have been many Februaries like this (is that how you spell it?). My sister reminded me that people think November is hard, but really it's February that's the kicker. I don't know - November was brutal but February has been something else. Life is hard! To me, right now, in my state. Kids, don't listen to me, it won't be like that for you.

I was talking to my mom this morning and I was saying first of all, I wish I could get born again and find god and then I wouldn't have to feel bad. "Jesus is always by your side. When you feel scared, just know you're not alone and..." That would be so cool. "Everything happens for a reason." That's another one I wish I could buy. "It's always darkest before the dawn." Bring it on. These are the things that I think would help me feel better.

You know what I think would really do it? Aliens landing. If a big space ship landed on Parliament Hill or the lawn of the White House, that would be awesome. That would change everything and we'd have world peace in a nanosecond. Don't you think? Imagine, if all of a sudden aliens landed, we'd all band together as humans and take on this new, big problem. Unless maybe they were there to rescue us and show us peace and new foods and stuff. That would be neat. And even if they were mean, just something different to have happen would be awesome.

I'm going to great resorts to get out of the pain in my brain. I wish I could hit myself over the head with a frying pan sometimes. Jason reminded me again to just give myself some slack and be really nice to myself. Hitting myself with a frying pan wouldn't be nice. I won't do that. Maybe I'll get myself a necklace or something to remind me that I'm cool with me.