Monday, June 7, 2010
Birds and Tears
Yesterday morning I had to have a little cry at the beginning of my yoga class. Before teaching I'd done my meditation and had pulled Pema Chodron's book, When Things Fall Apart, off my shelf for comfort. She describes ways to use the pain of a heavy heart to come to a peaceful place. When you can't ignore the thoughts or just notice them and let them be, you can breathe into them, like take them in.
It was hard to breathe in the feelings yesterday as I had such contrasting images in my mind. The idyllic, pre oil poisoning of the region, and the newer images of the destruction of the animals in the area that are showing up now. I'm not vegetarian, I drive a car, and I'm looking at my role in this disaster. The grief was present.
I still haven't edited the video we took in the winter for a yoga DVD. I just grabbed this folder and put it out there as a slideshow as a way to remember. I was there. I admired the birds. I felt the water.
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I share with you the heavy heart and the strong emotions that come from looking at the images of oil-soaked birds in the newspaper. In fact, I find my reaction so visceral and overwhelming that I'm not sure if I can deeply understand the full impact of what I'm seeing. Images like this seem to hurt even more now that I'm a mother.
One thing, though, that I had not thought about was my role in this. Reading your blog entry reminded me to think about my responsibility in (and my response to) this.
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