Sometimes I'd like to be done with something. Like health. I'd like to be complete with health and just have it handled. I'd like to achieve fitness. I'd like to collect yoga poses and just keep them. Even a manicure. I'd like to pay for a manicure to be done professionally and just have it be done. Shaving, waxing, enlightenment, same thing. But all of these things require maintenance.
It's as though I'd like to just pause life. Just take a break over here. Have it wrapped up for a bit with no more todos and all my calls returned and bills paid and boxes checked off.
I'd like to earn the educated badge. Just know something and not have to relearn it all again next week. I'd like to know the software rules and have them not change. How about Facebook? Couldn't it just stay the way it was?
Everything's changing and growing and moving and sometimes I feel like I can't keep up. And we can't keep up with all of it, we really can't. This is where surrender lives. We have to make peace with where we are knowing that stuff, life, is flowing all around us. In addition to letting go, we also have to have effort to be focused and participate and know where we want to go, or just have the discipline to go where we've been told to go.
In yoga it's called, Abhyasa and Vairagya. Effort and focus, and on the other hand, non-attachment and letting go. It's a balance.
Sometimes I'd like it to be out of balance and just be done! I know it's not realistic and that I need to bring some tapas to my practice in that moment. I'm just sharing something that shows up in my awareness sometimes...and I have a feeling you know what I'm talking about!
Showing posts with label responsibility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label responsibility. Show all posts
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Oil Spill and Yoga
I've been looking at the oil spill and listening for messages from it. There are many but one that struck me this morning was about how strong the foundation of your practice needs to be in order to handle all of the energy that could potentially flow through you. Yoga teachings warn about the kundalini energy and tell us to fortify ourselves, take it easy, move on as appropriate and warn of the dangers of moving too quickly. Unexpected kundalini rising can be painful, crazy-making, can mess up your life, fry your system, and a whole bunch of other things.
So this oil that's coming up is energy. It's massive amounts of energy, that when channelled properly, fuels our lives and allows us to live in the world of form in fun and interesting ways. Apparently there were some shortcuts taken at the foundation that left the structure unstable. We've all tried to find shortcuts to our practice. Could we skip certain things, go ahead, do advanced practices before we're ready, avoid having a guru or mentor...
What was interesting for me was to look at the impact wasted energy has on other people. If a practitioner doesn't build a strong foundation but rushes ahead and their energy is spent and leaked and wasted, there's a huge impact that goes beyond just that yogi. Wasting my energy is a mess for my family and others around me to clean up. It reminds me of the Marianne Williamson quote that Nelson Mandela read at his inauguration and that it doesn't serve others to stay small. I'd like to add, that not only does it not serve others, it can keep them down and have a bigger impact than we can predict in our minds.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
----from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson.
So this oil that's coming up is energy. It's massive amounts of energy, that when channelled properly, fuels our lives and allows us to live in the world of form in fun and interesting ways. Apparently there were some shortcuts taken at the foundation that left the structure unstable. We've all tried to find shortcuts to our practice. Could we skip certain things, go ahead, do advanced practices before we're ready, avoid having a guru or mentor...
What was interesting for me was to look at the impact wasted energy has on other people. If a practitioner doesn't build a strong foundation but rushes ahead and their energy is spent and leaked and wasted, there's a huge impact that goes beyond just that yogi. Wasting my energy is a mess for my family and others around me to clean up. It reminds me of the Marianne Williamson quote that Nelson Mandela read at his inauguration and that it doesn't serve others to stay small. I'd like to add, that not only does it not serve others, it can keep them down and have a bigger impact than we can predict in our minds.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
----from A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Winter Tires
I did it. I bought winter tires for the car and I actually got them on the car. Whew. In the past with the Echo, I just drove through all seasons on my all season tires. Then I shifted my mentality from surviving to thriving and bought a new car. I have to say I'm slightly back into the surviving mode as everything that has happened since I bought that car has been an economic back slide and "survival mode" is all around me. It's tough to try and be in "thriving mode" at the moment.
But I'm doing it. At first I resisted. When the dealer told me I could get a winter package for 900 bucks that would be tires, rims, and they'd store them for me I told them in my mind to go take a hike. I didn't anticipate the situation with Quebec making winter tires mandatory by next week and how that would impact Ontario tire supplies. I didn't foresee our dollar dropping like crazy, which before had me imagining driving down to the States to buy tires.
So when I called Canadian Tire on Saturday night and found out they had 4 rims that would fit my car but I'd have to get myself to Barrhaven, I put my pedal to the metal and hightailed it to the 'burbs to get me some rims. They banged around in the back for the weekend. I'd heard about some tires that would fit my car on Friday. He thought he could get them. Maybe by Monday or Tuesday.
Today everything went like clockwork as I pulled in on time at my dealer to have the first oil change and inspection (I actually bought a used car as you may recall so the service came quickly). I settled down to wait for the shuttle and then changed my mind. I told them I'd wait for the car rather than sit in a snowstorm on the shuttle. I got back to marking some more Yoga Teacher Training exams when they called my name. My car was ready!
I called my new tire friend to see if he could meet me early and wouldn't you know it? I had winter boots on my car and an oil change before 11 am. I still have a few papers left to mark, they could have taken more time!
Driving today with winter tires feels less like thriving than just plain being responsible. Cars ahead of me were swerving and sliding and I was kicking along throwing up snow behind me as I plowed through the streets of Ottawa. It feels good and safe. I realize that's a state of mind as we never know what's going to happen. Lots of unsafe things happen even when we've taken precautions. But sometimes I have to live by that old saying I use frequently, "trust in God but tie up your camel."
But I'm doing it. At first I resisted. When the dealer told me I could get a winter package for 900 bucks that would be tires, rims, and they'd store them for me I told them in my mind to go take a hike. I didn't anticipate the situation with Quebec making winter tires mandatory by next week and how that would impact Ontario tire supplies. I didn't foresee our dollar dropping like crazy, which before had me imagining driving down to the States to buy tires.
So when I called Canadian Tire on Saturday night and found out they had 4 rims that would fit my car but I'd have to get myself to Barrhaven, I put my pedal to the metal and hightailed it to the 'burbs to get me some rims. They banged around in the back for the weekend. I'd heard about some tires that would fit my car on Friday. He thought he could get them. Maybe by Monday or Tuesday.
Today everything went like clockwork as I pulled in on time at my dealer to have the first oil change and inspection (I actually bought a used car as you may recall so the service came quickly). I settled down to wait for the shuttle and then changed my mind. I told them I'd wait for the car rather than sit in a snowstorm on the shuttle. I got back to marking some more Yoga Teacher Training exams when they called my name. My car was ready!
I called my new tire friend to see if he could meet me early and wouldn't you know it? I had winter boots on my car and an oil change before 11 am. I still have a few papers left to mark, they could have taken more time!
Driving today with winter tires feels less like thriving than just plain being responsible. Cars ahead of me were swerving and sliding and I was kicking along throwing up snow behind me as I plowed through the streets of Ottawa. It feels good and safe. I realize that's a state of mind as we never know what's going to happen. Lots of unsafe things happen even when we've taken precautions. But sometimes I have to live by that old saying I use frequently, "trust in God but tie up your camel."
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